Maria Bamford and Husband Scott Explore Grief While Telling Their Love Story

Maria Bamford and husband Scott Marvel Cassidy

Fans of Maria Bamford and her comedy know she’s an avid mental health advocate. We’ve gotten to know about her family and struggles from her standup, Netflix series Lady Dynamite, and her first book, Sure I’ll Join Your Cult. Her husband, Scott Marvel Cassidy is an acclaimed artist and together, they wrote Hogbook and Lazer Eyes.

It’s a graphic novel where they share their story, told through the perspective of the elderly dogs the couple adopts. Maria Bamford says, “We’ve adapted older dogs throughout our relationship and six of them have passed.” As she tells me this, she holds up Muffin, “She’s the first dog we’ve adopted under the age of 10.”

About the role of grief in the graphic novel, Cassidy explains that this novel began as a personal project. “The comic book was a way to process grief. I didn’t think anyone was going to see it. Then it was going to be merch for Maria. The fact that it’s even published is kind of amazing to me because it wasn’t really for mass consumption,” he says.

The process behind creating Hogbrook was slow and deliberate, according to Cassidy, “I take forever to do artwork. I would do a drawing or a series of drawings and say, ‘Oh, what do you think about this?’ If it was this part of the story then Maria would add a line or revise it because I didn’t have any problem redoing a whole page. Taking our time meant a lot to me.” It’s clear that this pressure-free way pace worked for the novel, which tackles major topics in a lighthearted, colorful, and careful way.

Hogbook and Lazer Eyes also provides a glimmer of hope for people who’ve lost hope in online dating. Bamford and Cassidy met on OkCupid in their 40s and married in 2015. In the months since the graphic novel’s release discourse about families and childfree people has intensified. Despite not originally intending to, Bamford and Cassidy now give a voice to alternative ways to form a family.

“One thing I like about living in LA is the total acceptance of however you’ve decided to create your community. There are lots of groups to be a part of. We were kind of weirdos in that we didn’t have a first marriage. When I would go back home to Minnesota, it was odd that I didn’t have even a long-term boyfriend. The longest relationship I’d had before marrying Scott was a year. It just wasn’t in the cards for me,” Bamford said. “Everything counts as a family, even if you just want to be by yourself.”

Mental health in relationships also comes up. In Bamford’s past work, she’s talked about her time in psychiatric wards, attending 12-step groups, and Cassidy’s journey. The graphic novel also gives us a view into what it was like for both Bamford and Cassidy to navigate their mental health as individuals and as a couple.

Therapy and seeking assistance for mental health issues can be scary, so I asked Bamford if she had any advice for readers and fans on how to find help.

“It’s good to just use everything that’s available. Life on planet Earth is unbelievably stressful. A lot of the help that’s out there isn’t ideal. Sometimes you can go see a therapist and you’re like, ‘Oh no, that wasn’t good.’ It’s good to avail yourself of things that might be helpful. Not everybody likes 12-step groups but they are free and it’s a bunch of people who are trying to change the way they think about their use of drugs, alcohol, money, or sex,” she shared “As for my journey with therapy, I just didn’t know how to have a long-term romantic relationship. About three months into dating, Scott and I started going to therapy together because I said, ‘I definitely need a third party assistance to kind of cheer us on and give us tools to de-escalate conflict.’ Having a therapist also helped me stay the course in my friendships as well.”

Hogbrook and Lazer Eyes is a testament to teamwork, love, and the power of giving ourselves time to create with intention.

Before we ended our conversation, Maria Bamford said, “I definitely experienced every silver spoon that there ever was. My parents paid for my college education. That said, I have also availed myself of anything free: the library, anything online, community colleges which are not free but are affordable. Talking about free resources in our area of LA, there’s a community mental health organization called Scribble. It’s like a music event space, but they also see people for couples, family, and individual therapy. It’s sliding scale or even free. I believe they have Spanish-speaking therapists as well. I always encourage people to ask about a payment plan, sliding scale, or scholarships because many people will want to work with you. It’s embarrassing, but I’ve done it.”

Maria Bamford is on tour right now – see her comedy and bookstore appearances. Find out more about Scott Marvel Cassidy’s work. Hogbook and Lazer Eyes is available at bookstores nationwide.

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